Free thinking.

I've decided that juggling has left me quite emotionless and rather cold. I don't fully take the time to enjoy what I have in my life... oh the instant gratification! Our society is so bent on getting what it wants when it wants- I need to step back. There's a lot of events, people, and decisions to be made. I am ignoring all of them for now. Not soon. My lack of self-discipline has hindered my ability to commit to one plan, woman, or favorite cheese.
No longer.
I applied to SF State, SDSU, and Long Beach for grad school in psychology last year, and gave in lieu of a trip to Europe.
That wasn't a mistake, the mistake was not starting my life when I returned.
So I've starting looking again. Hopefully I can reapply, reconnect, and reassert myself. I've broken down over the last few months and gone with what I do best. Socialize. My friends would be ashamed. I'm the only one the spent the money, time, and more money graduating, and now I'm a bartender/ auditor at a golf course. Fuck that, I hide my embarrassment with booze and laughter. It's been real and fun, but it's done.
Let it be known, my empty promises of getting big boy jobs and moving away are over. By spring next year I will either be working or learning again.
Don't let my candor fool you, this is the last summer. Aunt Gail, look in Chi for me. Hannah? New Orleans can do. Kristin? San Diego CAN be more than a 3-day weekend. Gower? Let's find me a job now so I can get residency. I'll know more ins and outs of Craigslist than anyone. How did I let myself go this far?
Down: bars, weekend trips to... well... whoring. Whoring is stretching yourself thin for a little satisfaction.
Out: Day boozing, tech purchases, TV, and video games.
I yield. I've let this go on long enough.

Wow. The World Cup is going quite as planned. As mentioned to many of my peers, I believe Germany will win. In fact, I tossed $100 after hearing that Steiger would replace Ballack as midfielder, and the odds went to 13-1. I still believe that Uruguay is my sleeper, with Argentina as my dark horse. Sorry America, what happened to our ODP? We're still raggedy. How can we really be proud of a team that had one win and two ties, and with our midfielders scoring all our goals? We need to get better, quickly. All you bandwagon futbol viewers, doesn't Donovan deserve better? Mostly MLS players that have and will play for us opt out to continue the season for money. WHAT MONEY? Gooooooooooooal!

Is anyone else a little worried about the state of our entertainment? Nothing really new has come out in the past few months. Remixes of movies and music are littering my inbox, iTunes, and TV commercials. I gotta give it to Old Spice, your swagger campaign might still be the funniest set of commercials out there. And you've started a following of commercials that mimic your brash and forward sense of sales.

Sadly... your man isn't me.

Down and Out