I've decided that juggling has left me quite emotionless and rather cold. I don't fully take the time to enjoy what I have in my life... oh the instant gratification! Our society is so bent on getting what it wants when it wants- I need to step back. There's a lot of events, people, and decisions to be made. I am ignoring all of them for now. Not soon. My lack of self-discipline has hindered my ability to commit to one plan, woman, or favorite cheese.
No longer.
I applied to SF State, SDSU, and Long Beach for grad school in psychology last year, and gave in lieu of a trip to Europe.
That wasn't a mistake, the mistake was not starting my life when I returned.
So I've starting looking again. Hopefully I can reapply, reconnect, and reassert myself. I've broken down over the last few months and gone with what I do best. Socialize. My friends would be ashamed. I'm the only one the spent the money, time, and more money graduating, and now I'm a bartender/ auditor at a golf course. Fuck that, I hide my embarrassment with booze and laughter. It's been real and fun, but it's done.
Let it be known, my empty promises of getting big boy jobs and moving away are over. By spring next year I will either be working or learning again.
Don't let my candor fool you, this is the last summer. Aunt Gail, look in Chi for me. Hannah? New Orleans can do. Kristin? San Diego CAN be more than a 3-day weekend. Gower? Let's find me a job now so I can get residency. I'll know more ins and outs of Craigslist than anyone. How did I let myself go this far?
Down: bars, weekend trips to... well... whoring. Whoring is stretching yourself thin for a little satisfaction.
Out: Day boozing, tech purchases, TV, and video games.
I yield. I've let this go on long enough.
Wow. The World Cup is going quite as planned. As mentioned to many of my peers, I believe Germany will win. In fact, I tossed $100 after hearing that Steiger would replace Ballack as midfielder, and the odds went to 13-1. I still believe that Uruguay is my sleeper, with Argentina as my dark horse. Sorry America, what happened to our ODP? We're still raggedy. How can we really be proud of a team that had one win and two ties, and with our midfielders scoring all our goals? We need to get better, quickly. All you bandwagon futbol viewers, doesn't Donovan deserve better? Mostly MLS players that have and will play for us opt out to continue the season for money. WHAT MONEY? Gooooooooooooal!
Is anyone else a little worried about the state of our entertainment? Nothing really new has come out in the past few months. Remixes of movies and music are littering my inbox, iTunes, and TV commercials. I gotta give it to Old Spice, your swagger campaign might still be the funniest set of commercials out there. And you've started a following of commercials that mimic your brash and forward sense of sales.
Sadly... your man isn't me.
Down and Out
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
A Wal-Mart Experience
Wal-Mart, creator of all thing wrong and cheap. We all know the tear- to us Wal-Mart poses a specific morality conundrum. On one hand, the company is consistently under fire for labor practices and for putting smaller practices and businesses on bankruptcy. On the other, I choose my words carefully, they produce cheap shit. I, however, find a nervous tinge tying into my stomach from neither former nor latter: I get uncomfortable observing society in the some of the worst conditions. For example, as Michelle and I were in there the other day, we had specific goals. I needed new work shoes, and she needed to fill a prescription. We both failed- they didn't have the shoes I needed and the line wasn't moving in the pharmacy. Fail.
Michelle decides to grab some things and get in line. We're sandwiched between an older black lady and an older White lady. The lady in front has around 30 things, and is in the 10 items or less line. Go ahead, imagine.
As tensions flair, the grumbling behind us elevates to "will you tell her the this is the 10 items or less line". We both just nervously smile and turn back around. We can't leave. This is going down. Banter is exchanged, the lady in front is having payment troubles and is clearly frustrated. The lady behind is voicing her opinion. Now the lady in front, rather than move forward, is in an all out war, and ends up calling her to the parking lot. Security is called. I get on the phone, and as I start talking, the lady behind me says, "this is why they need to go back to the jungle".
I can't explain exactly what I was feeling. I wanted to leave, I wanted to stay and yell. I didn't tell Michelle until we finally left. She was pissed, I understand why, I just feared for the both of us had we stayed. I'm serious...
Michelle decides to grab some things and get in line. We're sandwiched between an older black lady and an older White lady. The lady in front has around 30 things, and is in the 10 items or less line. Go ahead, imagine.
As tensions flair, the grumbling behind us elevates to "will you tell her the this is the 10 items or less line". We both just nervously smile and turn back around. We can't leave. This is going down. Banter is exchanged, the lady in front is having payment troubles and is clearly frustrated. The lady behind is voicing her opinion. Now the lady in front, rather than move forward, is in an all out war, and ends up calling her to the parking lot. Security is called. I get on the phone, and as I start talking, the lady behind me says, "this is why they need to go back to the jungle".
I can't explain exactly what I was feeling. I wanted to leave, I wanted to stay and yell. I didn't tell Michelle until we finally left. She was pissed, I understand why, I just feared for the both of us had we stayed. I'm serious...
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